Tending to and Healing Your Inner Child
EMOTIONSRELAXATIONMENTAL HEALTH TOOLS
Our inner child is a powerful aspect of our being. It represents our true self, our original essence that is filled with innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity, and playfulness.
However, it can also carry the wounds, hurts, traumas, fears, and angers that we have accumulated throughout our childhood. These wounded parts of our inner child can have a significant impact on our daily lives if left unaddressed.
It is not uncommon for many individuals to find that it is their wounded inner child, rather than their adult self, that is directing their lives. This emotionally wounded inner child resides within an adult body, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Recognizing and healing our inner child is crucial for our personal growth and well-being.
Understanding the Inner Child
Before we dive into the process of tending to and healing our inner child, let's take a moment to understand what the inner child is all about. Our inner child is the part of us that retains the memories, emotions, and experiences of our childhood. It is the child within us that holds our deepest desires, dreams, and fears.
Our inner child is a source of strength. It embodies our capacity for joy, curiosity, and creativity. It is through our inner child that we can reconnect with the magic and wonder of life. However, our inner child can also carry the wounds and traumas that we have experienced during our formative years.
Recognizing the Wounded Inner Child
Healing our inner child begins with recognizing the wounded parts within us. These wounded aspects of our inner child can manifest in various ways, such as:
Emotional triggers: Certain situations or events may trigger intense emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the present moment.
Repetitive patterns: We may find ourselves engaging in repetitive patterns of behavior or relationships that are rooted in unresolved childhood experiences.
Self-sabotage: Our wounded inner child may lead us to self-sabotage our own happiness and success, often out of fear or feelings of unworthiness.
Inner critic: The inner critic, that harsh voice within us, is often a manifestation of our wounded inner child.
By becoming aware of these signs, we can start to identify the wounded parts of our inner child that require healing.
Exercise: Tending to Your Inner Child
Tending to our inner child involves providing the love, care, and attention that our wounded self needs.
Here are some steps to help you in the process:
1. Create Your Safe Space
Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can be alone with yourself. This space should feel safe and nurturing. You can create a physical space by decorating it with objects that bring you comfort and joy, or you can simply visualize a safe space within your mind. Additionally, you put on some calming music that evokes positive childhood memories.
2. Meet your inner-child 🧒
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to relax and your mind to quiet.
Imagine yourself walking through a peaceful forest, garden, or perhaps in a playground. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you.
Come across a small clearing bathed in warm sunlight. In the center, you see a young child, your inner child. How old are they? What are they wearing? What expression do they have on their face?
3. Listen and Validate 👂🏽
Once you have established a connection with your inner child, listen to what they have to say. Allow them to express their feelings, fears, and needs. Validate their experiences and emotions, assuring them that their feelings are valid and important.
Sit down next to your inner child and greet them warmly. Ask them their name and how they are feeling.
Listen attentively to what they have to say. Are they happy or sad? Do they feel loved and supported? Are there any fears or worries they want to share?
Acknowledge their emotions without judgment. Simply listen with an open heart and a compassionate mind
4. Offer Love & Support 🫂
Offer comfort and reassurance to your inner child. Imagine yourself giving them a warm hug or holding their hand. Provide the love and support that they may have lacked during their childhood. Let them know that you are there for them and that they are not alone.
Tell your inner child how much you love and appreciate them. Let them know that you are there for them, no matter what.
If they have any fears or worries, offer words of comfort and reassurance. Remind them that they are strong and capable.
Is there anything you can do to make them feel loved and supported? Perhaps it's a promise to spend more time doing things they enjoy, or simply a warm hug and a gentle touch.
5. Play-time! 🛝🧸
Invite your inner child to engage in an activity they enjoy. It could be playing with the materials you gathered, drawing a picture, dancing, or singing.
Observe their behavior and try to understand what brings them joy and fulfillment.
Encourage them to express themselves freely, without inhibitions or limitations.
6. The End: Integration & Gratitude 🙏
Slowly begin to bring your awareness back to the present moment. Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes.
Carry the feelings of love and connection you experienced with your inner child throughout your day.
Take action on any promises you made to your inner child.
Before ending the exercise, express gratitude for the opportunity to reconnect with this important part of yourself.
Journal prompts to explore and tend to your inner child
1.) Something I am judging/blaming/shaming myself over is:
2.) I want to forgive myself so that I can feel:
3.) When I made those choices in the past, I was coming from a place of (fill in the emotional experience you were having – fear, anxiety, insecurity) ___________.
4.) I now know that I was doing the best I could with the tools I had, and I see that my inner child was in desperate need of ___________. Fill in the blank (safety, love, validation, reassurance, empathy, nurturance.)
5.) As an adult, what can I do to nurture my inner child? This could be saying no and setting boundaries, doing a meditation, cooking your favorite meal, going on a hike, going to bed earlier, and so forth. Write down 5 things you can do to nurture your inner child.
6.) Write down any negative self-talk you may say or have said to yourself. Now, picture yourself as an innocent child, feeling/saying those same things to the self. What would you say to comfort the child? Cross out the negative self-talk phrases and replace them with what you would say to little you, and start practicing affirming these to yourself.
7.) What would your life look like if you could release some of the hurt, anger, and unhealthy beliefs from your childhood trauma?
8.) Create a statement you can use to remind yourself that you are safe, cared for, and loved despite your childhood experiences.
9.) How can you provide for yourself now, what you did not have as a child? (e.g., love, affirmation, validation, encouragement, understanding)?
10.) Describe a time when you were affirmed as a child. What did that mean to you? What feelings did it bring up?
11.) What is one way you coped as a child that you still use today? Is this coping habit healthy or unhealthy?
12.) What self-limiting beliefs have you taken with you about yourself (fear, failure, not being good enough) and how has it impacted your life now?
Additional Tips
This is a personal journey, so don't be afraid to adjust the exercise to fit your needs and preferences.
There may be tears, laughter, or even silence during the exercise. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up without judgment.
Be patient and kind to yourself. Reconnecting with your inner child takes time and practice.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by difficult emotions, consider seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor.
Self-help resources: There are numerous books, podcasts, and online resources available that offer guidance and techniques for healing your inner child.
Remember, healing takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself as you embark on this journey of tending to and healing your inner child. Embrace the process, celebrate your progress, and allow yourself to experience the joy and freedom that comes from reconnecting with your true self.